Something I hear over and over from people is how they view themselves. They usually say, “I’m a …” and add the rest with something derogatory or a colourful metaphor. Why do people do this? There is nothing that irks me more than hearing something like this.
We are our own worst enemy’s when it comes to how we view ourselves. Often, many of us believe that only someone else can make us happy, or that only something missing from our lives will can be filled by something that isn’t there. This can be just about anything. In reality, we are responsible for our own happiness. No one else is going to make us feel better. It comes down to just one person – who we are.
How do we find that happiness? Great question. I found mine by going through the impossible and knowing I made it when several others couldn’t. I had a built in support network, and many brothers who were there to help me when I couldn’t carry my own burden. Unfortunately, not everyone I knew who went through the same thing found this. I wish that they had. Others find it by finding one thing they are really good and earning accolades and recognition. Some find it with the self esteem and confidence from doing certain activities – especially ones that the person thought impossible. And others find it by finding that one person who is right for them, that they can share everything with and who shares everything back. It could even be a child who loves you for you. Some find it in forgiveness – either receiving forgiveness or giving forgiveness. Each person is unique, so I can’t say which will work for you.
A close friend once told me that the thing to do to make your world brighter was to praise others. Find three people and give them some accolades for something they did right. Give that compliment. Let others know how well they did. Over time, that karma comes back to you.
This won’t fix all your problems, but it is a good start in the right direction. You will still have problems, but keep trying new things, and don’t forget to compliment to people what they are doing right.