Several people have commented on one of my previous posts that no one can make you happy, and they have cited themselves as an example of a couple who does. Their significant other does make them happy. They can’t live without the other. I disagree with their conclusion.
What I see, as with my own relationship, is that my significant other only sees the best in me. They show me the reflection of myself that is under everything that I use to protect myself and drive others away. That is love. Seeing you for the best of who you are and showing you what that is. Being there for you, no matter how bad or awful you are to them. There will be those days. They are one of the few who will show you who you really are and who you trust to reveal that whole you. They accept you for who you are, what you stand, and what you believe.
In trade, you do the same for them. That is love.
A cold hard fact is that time waits for no one. It continually ticks away. Why do I remind you of this? Rarely are the most important things in our life the most urgent. Some would say that things like their taxes and bills are the most important things in their life. I beg to say they aren’t. Even that task you need to get done isn’t that important.
How do you know what is important? Most, you won’t know until several years after it occured. In some, you will know immediately. For me, the most important things are the time I spend with others. Sometimes it is with my work as a photographers, sometimes it is simply being there with my daughter and her son, and sometimes it is just that casual stranger that I talk with that was on the street. It could be spending time with a friend to help them out or just celebrating some time with them. Another moment is being there and answering messages from people who I value in my life. Why are these moments important to me? Simply put, we don’t know what tomorrow will bring. While it is very unlikely, that proverbial red bus could hit any one of us.
Savour the important things in your life. Spend that little bit of extra time. Send that message or time with whomever it is in your life. Write the message – be it an e-mail or handwritten letter. These moments will rarely knock your door down and tell you it is important.
Something I hear over and over from people is how they view themselves. They usually say, “I’m a …” and add the rest with something derogatory or a colourful metaphor. Why do people do this? There is nothing that irks me more than hearing something like this.
We are our own worst enemy’s when it comes to how we view ourselves. Often, many of us believe that only someone else can make us happy, or that only something missing from our lives will can be filled by something that isn’t there. This can be just about anything. In reality, we are responsible for our own happiness. No one else is going to make us feel better. It comes down to just one person – who we are.
How do we find that happiness? Great question. I found mine by going through the impossible and knowing I made it when several others couldn’t. I had a built in support network, and many brothers who were there to help me when I couldn’t carry my own burden. Unfortunately, not everyone I knew who went through the same thing found this. I wish that they had. Others find it by finding one thing they are really good and earning accolades and recognition. Some find it with the self esteem and confidence from doing certain activities – especially ones that the person thought impossible. And others find it by finding that one person who is right for them, that they can share everything with and who shares everything back. It could even be a child who loves you for you. Some find it in forgiveness – either receiving forgiveness or giving forgiveness. Each person is unique, so I can’t say which will work for you.
A close friend once told me that the thing to do to make your world brighter was to praise others. Find three people and give them some accolades for something they did right. Give that compliment. Let others know how well they did. Over time, that karma comes back to you.
This won’t fix all your problems, but it is a good start in the right direction. You will still have problems, but keep trying new things, and don’t forget to compliment to people what they are doing right.